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Episode Transcript
[00:00:03] Guys, today we are finishing out our series on conflict and hurt and broken relationship and how to be people of forgiveness and reconciliation is the series that we've been calling peacemakers. We're finishing that out today, and man, I am just excited for this. I don't know about you guys, but this has just been needed for my soul. Over the last couple weeks, it's been difficult to consider the weight of bitterness and unforgiveness, to see how destructive those things can be, how anti gospel those things are. And yet, there's so much freedom in Jesus. Amen. There is so much life in Christ. The gospel really does change lives. It really does restore what sin is broken. I don't normally do this kind of thing, but I'd encourage you, if you've missed the last couple weeks, I'd encourage you to go back and snag the YouTube or the podcast and catch up because I just feel like this is actually an important series for our church family. We called this series peacemakers because it's a reference to Jesus own words in the sermon on the mount. Right? Blessed are the peacemakers. But beloved, it's more than just a reference. You see, the reality is, because of the curse, peace does not happen by accident.
[00:01:28] The default state of a broken and cursed world is one of brokenness.
[00:01:36] The default state of the world within which we live because of sin, its selfishness, its division. Guys, in the world within which we live, peace happens because someone makes it.
[00:01:50] Peace happens when it's made. We all know this is true.
[00:01:55] Your testimony is a story of Jesus stepping into the mess that you made of your own life. Amen. If you were in Christ, that means at some point he turned toward you in the face of your rebellion and sin. And on the cross, he absorbed the wrong of your sin and made a way for you to be at peace with God. He worked to make that available for you.
[00:02:20] This is how the gospel affects the broken and cursed world. The gospel creates peace where division and death once reigned.
[00:02:30] This is how it works. And guys, you need to hear this. Because of this work, because of the work that Christ accomplished on your behalf, you too can make peace.
[00:02:44] You can leave this place. You can step into the world. You can navigate your family, your friendships, your coworkers, your relationships, relationships. And you can make peace.
[00:02:56] It's difficult.
[00:02:58] It's painful, it's hard. It's often humiliating. But beloved truly, in the kingdom of God, good overcomes evil. And you get to participate in that work. You get to through Christ, you can, in your life, right now in your relationships right now in your roots and wounds and betrayals today. Hear now, you with the power of the spirit can overcome evil with good.
[00:03:29] You can. You can.
[00:03:32] So far in the series we've said things like, don't seek vengeance, this belongs to the Lord. Let go of your ledger, think of yourself less. And all of these things are true. But we've always, we've kept coming back to this question each week of how is this possible with a true heart? Right? Look at Matthew last week and Matthew 18. Jesus end his parable by saying, and so will the father do unto you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart.
[00:03:59] We're not talking about lip service. We're not talking about like my four year old boys going, oh, sorry, like through gritted teeth. We're talking about genuine love, affection, forgiveness, peace.
[00:04:14] How can you do that?
[00:04:16] It's a really important question.
[00:04:19] In his book called Simply Trust, christian counselor Doctor Henry Cloud, he outlines what he considers to be six biblical and psychologically sound steps for rebuilding trust that has been shattered by hurt or betrayal. It's not exactly specific to what we're talking about, but I actually think it's helpful for our discussion and the text we're going to be in today.
[00:04:40] If you read that, it's a big honking book, but I'll sum it up for you right here. He talks about needing to heal from what actually happened, needing to move from anger and vengeance toward and turn toward forgiveness, needing to ponder what you actually want out of a relationship and then figuring out if reconciliation is possible and figuring out if trust is possible and then looking to see if there is evidence of real change.
[00:05:07] I give that to you guys not because I think Henry Cloud is some genius who's solved all relational problems, but because he's actually tapping. He's just kind of simplifying biblical language and biblical discussion around these things. We're going to look at romans twelve today if you want to go ahead and turn there. And I think we're going to basically just see this play out in Paul's words instead of Doctor Cloud's. By the way, if you don't have a Bible with you today, I'd encourage you to grab one of the house bibles. They should be around you if you look under the seats in front of you. We really believe it's important for believers to have physical access to God's word here at Emmanuel. So if you're here today and you don't own a Bible, I'd strongly encourage you to take one of those pew bibles or talk to the pastors, and we'll give you a nicer one. But we're gonna look at romans twelve today. We're gonna look at this passage that we've actually referenced the last two weeks. I've come back to this passage a little bit. Each time we've been in this series, we're gonna go through this chunk by chunk. And as we look through this kind of progression of thought in Paul, I think we're gonna see just this idea, this strong, solid gospel idea of seeking peace, making peace, seeking reconciliation, living in forgiveness. We're gonna see this play out. Pray with me, and then we'll begin to walk through this. Jesus, we ask you this morning that you would just be with us.
[00:06:24] Lord, I come to you confessionally for myself, but also speaking for our church, Lord, that we are people who are bent toward division.
[00:06:34] Our hearts so easily turn inward, turn selfish, turn bitter, turn angry, hold on to records of wrongs.
[00:06:43] God, we know that's not your way. We know that's not how you treat us. And yet it's just so natural for us.
[00:06:50] God, I know that in a space like this today, many of us are struggling. We're squirming in our seats. We're looking for the what ifs to justify our particular experience, a broken relationship, to hold onto it.
[00:07:06] Spirit, I ask that today in your love and your kindness, that you would just prick us in this area, convict us, cut us to the core about what it means to be people who make peace, who live in forgiveness, who fight for reconciliation.
[00:07:25] Lord, make this true in us. We know this is how you've treated us, but we need your help. We need your empowerment spirit to get there. Teach us, challenge us, remind us, convict us. Do your ministry in our hearts today, Lord, we ask this in your name, Jesus. Amen.
[00:07:40] Okay, so, Romans, Romans, if you don't notice to give us all, kind of get us on the same page. Romans is a letter. It's a letter the apostle Paul wrote to a church that he didn't plant and that he didn't know, he hadn't visited them. He had heard of this large and healthy church, and he was hoping that they would be kind of a home base, kind of ascending church for his larger missionary work, that he was hoping to move into Europe. Right. He had gone on several missionary journeys around the Mediterranean Sea. We read about those in acts. He's hoping to move that further and further into the roman empire, and he's hoping that the roman church will be kind of ascending church for him to do this. And so he sent this letter to the Romans to introduce himself and his theology. He wants them to know about his ministry from his own mouth and not his reputation, good or bad. And that's because Paul had quite a reputation, right? Like, he had lots of dust ups and run ins with jewish religious leaders, with roman government officials. He was a dude who before Christ, he actively persecuted the church and killed Christians. And so he's kind of like, hey, you may have heard of me, and it probably isn't all good. So let me just tell you what my deal is, and you can make your decision based off that. Because of this, what we get in Romans, guys, it's the singular, most robust and worked out systematic gospel theology in the entire Bible period.
[00:09:09] It's a lot in a good way. Like, Paul packs an absolutely massive amount of thought and theology and gospel into this beefy book, right? And because of that, Romans can actually be really intimidating. When you first start reading it, you get into it and you go, oh, my gosh, this is like a three paragraph long compound sentence. And it's talking about, talking about justification. Like, I have no clue what's going on. It's easy to get lost in Romans. But I'll tell you guys, romans is a book that is worth your investment. It's worth your investment. One of the reasons it's so worth your investment as a christian today is that because Paul was speaking to a church that he had very little context with, he actually presents his gospel theology here in really broad terms. Romans is one of the books of the New Testament that's most easily applicable to the christian life today. You don't have to do as much interpretive work because he's already speaking broadly to all the church everywhere. And so it just gets you there a little quicker. It's actually very helpful in that regard. So what we're going to do today is we're going to go through this chunk in Romans twelve. But to set that up, let me tell you where romans twelve sits within romans. So we're on the tail end of the book. It's only 15 chapters long. And so by this point in the book, Paul has already built out his entire systematic gospel theology. He's worked through the reality of sin, and Jesus worked to conquer it. And in chapter twelve, the chapter we're in, at the beginning of chapter twelve, he turns a corner, and this is vitally important for understanding our text. Chapter twelve opens with this really famous verse. He says, therefore, brothers and sisters, in view of the mercies of God, I urge you to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God. This is your true worship. Do not be conformed to this age, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind so that you may discern what is the good, pleasing and perfect will of God. He's just spent the whole letter building up and explaining the gospel. And here in Romans twelve, he basically says, because of this, because of everything I've said up to this point, because of how amazing the gospel is, give yourselves over to God.
[00:11:27] Give yourselves to him fully. The gospel of Jesus is so good, it's worth giving yourself fully to Christ. Offer up your very life as a living sacrifice. Don't be like this world. Live like the kingdom. And this explains the rest of the book of Romans. Romans twelve through 15. Is Paul talking about what it looks like to live your life as a living sacrifice given fully over to the kingdom of God? This, this is the setup for our text. Paul is describing the kind of life christians live.
[00:12:01] He's describing that living sacrifice kind of life. And over these chapters, when you go twelve through 15, he describes pretty much every aspect of christian living. But in our text, we're going to see Paul really specifically speak into the communal life of the church and how we treat each other, but then also how we see the gospel, how we apply this truth in the area of conflict, hurt, broken relationship. So because Romans can be kind of beefy, we're going to read a chunk and talk about it. Read a chunk and talk about it. And I'm going to tell you guys, as we get into this, you're going to go, oh, this text could have been a whole series, right? Like, we're going to go through this pretty fast. We're going to pull out a couple points, but there's going to be a lot left on the table because of the nature of Romans. So Romans, chapter twelve. Let's start in verse nine. Read with me. It says this, let love be without hypocrisy, detest evil, cling to what is good, love one another deeply as brothers and sisters. Take the lead in honoring one another. Do not lack diligence in zeal, be fervent in the spirit, serve the Lord, rejoice in hope, be patient in affliction, be persistent in prayer, share with the saints in their needs, pursue hospitality. That's a big long list, right? The opening verse here sets up our larger passage. Paul says that the love of Christians, the love of these living, sacrifice, kingdom type people, that this love is genuine. It's not hypocritical and self serving. It is genuine, real love. It's the kind of genuine Jesus love that hates evil and loves what is good. And then he describes our commitment and obligation to love one another really well as christians. I mean, look at the kind of language he uses here. This is all about how the church loves each other. Like Jesus, love deeply, honor one another, serve well, keep your hope. Don't give up when faith is hard. Keep praying. Take care of one another's needs. Pursue hospitality. That last phrase, by the way, that's a weighty thing in ancient Rome, pursuing hospitality means something a little more in this culture than it means in ours, man. It's really this way of saying that you need to make strangers into family.
[00:14:25] You need to make strangers into family. And guys, that involves real sacrifice, that involves real obligation, that involves real relational and emotional risk taking.
[00:14:36] And here's the thing that I love about this. As we read this list at the beginning here, this is all actually pretty standard, right? This is pretty standard and awesome church loving church language. Like, we read this stuff, we're like, yeah, 100%. That's how I assume christians should treat each other, how the church should treat its own. It's describing how we live as the church, how we take care of each other because of Christ.
[00:15:04] We treat each other like family, and we take care of each other even when faith is hard.
[00:15:11] And that's kind of base level christian stuff, right? Like, we all can kind of hear that and go, yeah, for sure. I mean, that's why we call each other brother and sister, right? That's part of our faith tradition. But consider this in light of our discussion on peacemaking. Beloved, if you want to heal from the hurts and broken relationships that you've experienced in the church and outside the church, this is the very first step you must take.
[00:15:38] You must plug into the life of the church. You must be engaged in the life of the church if you want to see the gospel, heal your broken and hurting relationships. If you were in Christ, that means that we in this room right now, professing believers, we are your family.
[00:15:58] And hear me, guys, it doesn't even have to be at a manual. I mean, it should be. I hope you, I hope you all plug in here. It doesn't have to be.
[00:16:05] You just need a church family. You need people who you were doing all these things we just listed with together.
[00:16:13] This will go a long way in helping you actually avoid relational blow ups, but also to help you heal when they happen. The church is family. And, guys, family means safety and service, and it also means obligation.
[00:16:29] Many of you guys know this from first hand experience. Any of you? Probably all of us. This is probably pretty universal.
[00:16:37] When you dust up with family, the assumption is that you'll do what's necessary to fix the broken relationship. Right? That's how that works. When things blow up relationally in family, that can be really painful. It can be really awful. But the assumption is, hey, we're family. We'll figure this out. It's a starting assumption. The scripture teaches us that it is to be the same for those of us who are spiritual brothers and sisters.
[00:17:04] The assumption is we're family. Will figure this out, that there's nothing going on here that Jesus can't fix, that we can't see healed. Read on with me in verse 14.
[00:17:15] Bless those who persecute you. Bless and do not curse. Rejoice with those who rejoice. Weep with those who weep. And now we get into some very real and very difficult instruction on how we process relational brokenness. Bless those who persecute you.
[00:17:35] Now, Paul is speaking partially about literal persecution and dangers that these christians are experiencing, right. The New Testament teaches consistently that we should expect persecution for our faith. Right. And that was a real thing that happened in Rome to the church. But, guys, that actually only furthers our point here about peacemaking. If we're to respond to enemies who threaten us physically with blessing, that doesn't even just include physical danger, right. If we're to respond to those who are actively persecuting us with blessing, that's how we respond to enemies. Then how much more do we respond to brothers and sisters when they harm us with blessing?
[00:18:16] This is hard work. That's kind of miserable. And if you've been there before, you're like, yeah, that's easier said than done.
[00:18:23] But, guys, that is 100% what's being told here. You can't get past Jesus. Clear teaching on this.
[00:18:32] Bless and do not curse. There's a wise theologian I know named Bob Browning.
[00:18:39] Hi, Bob.
[00:18:41] And he often says, when you give your life to Jesus, you don't get to choose who you want.
[00:18:48] Who's the right to choose who you want to love when you've given your life to Jesus?
[00:18:53] Because there's truth in that.
[00:18:57] This is a hard enough teaching that I think many of us are just tempted to skim over it. And I think this is why Paul gives us this next little bit of instruction. Rejoice and weep. Do you catch this part? He's telling us, guys, life is hard. This instruction is hard. People experience real joys and real hardships, and we're to be the kind of people who were with them in these real experiences. The call to bless enemies who've done terrible wrongs, guys, that's incredibly painful.
[00:19:26] And you need space to feel that hurt and that struggle to be seen and known and cared for and held accountable as you do it.
[00:19:35] When you're in conflict and broken relationship, there are plenty of big feelings, right? And you need space to feel them and process them. I think this is where we really start to see cloud's two first ideas here, right? You have to take time to heal from the hurt. Breaking peace hurts, betrayals, relational wounds, divisive fighting, especially when those come from people you're close to, especially when those come from brothers and sisters. Those hurt, and you cannot pretend that they don't.
[00:20:08] You can't. I think many times christians trick ourselves into thinking that avoiding these feelings is actually godly. Right. I just need to forget what's on and move on toward what's ahead. And so I'm just gonna go straight to reconciliation. But here's the thing, guys. If you don't give yourself time to actually feel the wound, you may figure out how to say the right words, but you are lying.
[00:20:35] You're still hurt.
[00:20:37] You're the kid saying sorry through gritted teeth. You can say the words, but there is no heart behind it. This is part of why christian community is so important, because you need space to experience what you've experienced. You need space to feel real hearts, to feel your wounds, to process them. And you need to do that in a context where people who love you are going to be in that with you.
[00:21:03] We're going to rejoice as you rejoice. We're going to mourn as you mourn. We're going to hold close to you as you walk through that journey of healing.
[00:21:14] Guys, you see this bit about bless and do not curse, moving from vengeance to forgiveness. This is this second piece here, guys. This is a hard thing to do. When you've legitimately been wronged, when something's been done to you that is actually evil.
[00:21:34] It's really hard to move from anger and vengeance to forgiveness, to turn toward that.
[00:21:40] It's difficult to do. The reality is you will almost certainly need community and accountability and help to do this, because we know it's just easier to stay hurt and angry.
[00:21:55] It's just easier to wallow in the wound, to never fully process it, to never bring it to the Lord, to never start that work of turning away from your anger toward forgiveness. It's just easier to do that. It's easier to ignore it.
[00:22:14] You have to take time to really feel the wound.
[00:22:16] But then the work becomes moving from the wound, moving from vengeance toward forgiveness.
[00:22:23] These are hard things to do. You'll need help to do them. Read on with me. Verse 16.
[00:22:28] Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud. Instead, associate with the humble. Do not be wise in your own estimation. Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Give careful thought to do what is honorable in everyone's eyes, if possible. As far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.
[00:22:49] The idea just continues straight on here, right? Like christians are people who live in harmony. We need to reject pride and thinking of ourselves too highly. We need each other to stay humble and stay accountable.
[00:23:04] I want to ask you to do this right now. Think of a real hurt, like a real wound, a real broken relationship, one that you've experienced in the past or one that you're in the middle of right now.
[00:23:16] Do you honestly believe that you, in your hurt, have the best read on what's going on there relationally, that you have the clearest eyes of what's going on?
[00:23:26] If your brothers and sisters in this room were to challenge you on that, challenge you on the way you're engaging that particular hurt, that particular broken relationship, would you actually be open to it? Could you actually receive that challenge and that rebuke?
[00:23:43] It's good to think about you're humble enough to have your community come around you and challenge you. These next few verses, they come together so well. Paul basically says you should live your life in such a way as to build peace wherever you can, wherever you're able to. Don't give evil back for evil. Honor your enemies. As much of the problem that you have control, and as far as it depends on you, live at peace. Guys, this is so vital, and you got to hear this bit. I want to tread carefully here, but I feel like this is an important thing for us to say and sit in. In every conflict and every hurt between two humans, there is sin on both sides because both people involved are sinners.
[00:24:32] That is always true. Now, listen, I want to be careful as I say that because in cases where someone has been abused by another, be that a trusted adult, a spouse, a friend, whatever, abusers will often downplay their own awful actions by focusing in on the victim and nitpicking everything they've done. And that's not what I'm doing right now.
[00:24:54] If you are a victim of abuse. Nothing excuses that, period. Do not let someone minimize the weight of that wrong. It must be accounted for.
[00:25:04] That's real. Don't hear me dismissing that. However, I still think it's important for us to remember that we're all sinners.
[00:25:12] In all our conflicts and broken relationships, we can find areas where we have in fact, sinned.
[00:25:19] Because, guys, the reality is most of us aren't in that situation where there's an abuser actively manipulating us to downplay their part in it. Most of us are just in broken relationships and hurts, and we've crossed wires and had dust ups with people.
[00:25:36] And in that case, it's really, really easy to formulate and pick apart every single wrong the other person has done and justify every single wrong you've done right. To figure out all the reasons why it's actually their fault that you got angry and responded that way.
[00:25:54] Guys, that's a real thing here.
[00:25:59] As far as it depends on you. As far as it depends on you. Live at peace. That means you have to own your part.
[00:26:06] You got to own your part, guys, remember, Paul is speaking to folk who have been victims of state sponsored religious persecution, right? These are folk that have had absolutely terrible treatment, sins against them that were in no way their fault. And Paul still commends them to look inward and take responsibility.
[00:26:26] Own your part. Even if you're convinced that it's just 1% you and 99% them, then own that bit, right? As far as it depends on you. Live at peace. That means taking responsibility for every aspect of the broken relationship that you can take responsibility for. This is a big part of how we turn away from our anger and vengeance and turn toward forgiveness.
[00:26:50] It's by owning our peace, and it's seeing our own sins, seeing our own hearts. Read on with me. Verse 19.
[00:26:56] Friends, do not avenge yourselves.
[00:26:59] Instead, leave room for God's wrath. Because it is written, vengeance belongs to me. I will repay, says the Lord. But if your enemy is hungry, feed him. If he is thirsty, give him something to drink, for in doing so, you will be heaping fiery coals on his head.
[00:27:13] And this is where we really begin to see these next two steps. Here we really begin to ponder, what do we want out of the relationship when we look to see if reconciliation is possible. I hear this, guys, right? Like forgiveness for wrong is always possible.
[00:27:29] Always. That's about your heart.
[00:27:32] That's about you letting go of your ledger and trusting your justice to God. But reconciliation takes two they must engage the relationship as well. And for that to happen, you have to begin to think what you actually want out of the relationship. This part is so important.
[00:27:54] Many of us, when we're stuck in brokenness, especially when it's people we're close to, when it's family and church type relationships, and you're just stuck in this broken, nasty thing, it's really hard to have clarity, to go, what is the actual outcome you want? What is it you actually want out of the relationship? Because near the beginning of the hurt, when the betrayal is close at hand, you likely, if we're honest, just want them to hurt like you hurt. You want them to know that they've wronged you, to acknowledge the wrong. You want them to feel some of what you are feeling.
[00:28:29] But as you want to turn, as you begin to turn vengeance toward forgiveness, you really have to have different goals.
[00:28:36] You really have to consider the relationship differently. Look at our text. Paul challenges believers to move beyond vengeance, to leave that to God. God is just.
[00:28:45] God is just beloved. He will account for every sin committed ever. I feel like we've said that each week, but it's so important to hear that peace, because that is how our heart turns from vengeance toward forgiveness, is to remember that God is just, and every sin will be accounted for. Every sin. There is no sin, no wrong ever done to you or anyone else that Christ does not know about. And that will not be accounted for, paid for, as it deserves.
[00:29:20] You, instead of keeping track of that, you get to bless your enemy.
[00:29:27] Because Christ is keeping track of the justice, of the vengeance. You get to bless your enemy. This is Paul expounding directly on Jesus own words. I tell you, love your enemies. Pray for those who persecute you. Serve your enemy. Is he hungry? Feed him. Is he thirsty? Give him a drink. Actively serve your enemies. And why is this, Paul says, quoting proverbs, by the way, because it keeps burning coals on their head. Now, what does that mean? What's the deal with the coals? Is Paul saying that we can make them suffer by doing good? Right? Like, is this just some. Our own vengeance, but, like, packed in spiritual language? No, I think you know that. No, but sometimes you'll hear it taught that this whole thing with the coals connects to this weird egyptian honoring ceremony with giving someone fire. And it's like, oh, it's really about. No, that's not it either.
[00:30:17] The real thing here, Paul's quotation from proverbs. These calls are a call to repentance.
[00:30:25] They're a call to repentance. The idea is that our loving service to our enemies will embarrass them, will cause them to consider their actions in a new light. The coals mean that we are earnestly desiring, that others hear this church would receive the same grace that we have received.
[00:30:51] The coals are about changing what you want.
[00:30:56] Not that I want my enemy to hurt. Not that I want my enemy to feel what I felt, to acknowledge the wrong. No. No. I want my enemy to receive the grace I've received.
[00:31:06] It's about understanding that you yourself were once an enemy of God and that God moved toward you.
[00:31:14] He moved toward you with forgiveness and reconciliation. And that reality, beloved, that reality changes the way you consider your own enemies.
[00:31:24] You want something different for them.
[00:31:27] If you don't genuinely want good and blessing for those who've wronged you, I want you to hear this. You will never get past gritted teeth. I'm sorry. I forgive you.
[00:31:40] If you do not in your heart genuinely want to see your enemies receive grace. The grace you have received, you will not get there.
[00:31:51] Verse 21 look how our text ends.
[00:31:55] Do not be conquered by evil, but conquer evil with good.
[00:32:02] I love how this text ends, beloved. There is a lot of evil in this world and it would love to conquer you. Satan would love to beat you down with curse and bitterness and leave you with a heart as cold and shriveled with revenge as his own. But you do not have to.
[00:32:22] You don't have to be conquered by evil. In fact, you can conquer evil with good.
[00:32:30] In fact, quite the opposite is true.
[00:32:34] You can live out the gospel you've received and you can see evil destroyed in your life and in your context. How beloved, remember Jesus on the cross in his agony as Jesus is experiencing the wrath of God and the judgment and mockery of those who should be worshiping him. In a moment where no one would begrudge him anger and vengeance. What does Jesus say of his own killers and his own betrayers? Do you remember the words, Father, forgive them because they don't know what they're doing.
[00:33:14] Even on the cross, even in a moment of his suffering, Jesus thought is of you before himself.
[00:33:26] Come on, church. His thought is for rebellious sinners. He's looking out for them. He's looking out for us. He's looking out for you on the cross.
[00:33:38] This is why you can live differently.
[00:33:41] The world you live in tells you self protect.
[00:33:45] If somebody hurts you, they're toxic, cut them off. You don't have time for that noise. You need to know your own values. So set the boundary. Post it on social media and move on.
[00:33:55] And listen.
[00:33:57] Listen guys, sometimes the boundary is important, right? Don't stay in abusive situations. Share your struggle. Your church will help you.
[00:34:08] But most of us aren't in that situation.
[00:34:12] Most of us, if we're honest, have legitimate wrongs that have really hurt us. And we just want justice.
[00:34:20] Most of us have a hundred denarii debt, and we just can't bear to let go of our ledger. We want justice. We need justice. We need to protect. Never let ourselves be hurt like that again. How many times do you forgive for the same offense? Once. When someone shows you their character, believe them, and move on. Right.
[00:34:41] But, beloved, remember Jesus.
[00:34:45] This is not how he treats you.
[00:34:48] He forgave you.
[00:34:51] He reconciled himself to you.
[00:34:54] He lifted you above your station. He gave you a share in his righteousness. He did different by you.
[00:35:02] And you can do so.
[00:35:05] You can do so for others today.
[00:35:07] So what does that mean? How does it work to land this whole thing out? How do you do it? What's the magic secret sauce to seeing your heart actually change?
[00:35:16] It comes down to this.
[00:35:18] It means absorbing a wrong.
[00:35:23] At the end of the day, the cycle of hurt and vengeance is only stopped when someone chooses a person over a ledger. And that means absorbing a loss, means just taking it.
[00:35:37] It means feeling the full weight of the betrayal. It means feeling that hurt to its fullest and then allowing it to stop with you.
[00:35:47] Because, beloved, this is what Jesus did.
[00:35:49] This is the gospel. He bore the full weight of your sin and rebellion. He absorbed the wrong. He took the hit, and he chose you over getting his.
[00:36:01] Because of him, you can do this.
[00:36:06] Because of his spirit within you. You can live this way. It's hard. It's painful. It's humiliating. It takes time. It seems foolish. You'll need lots of help, but it is wonderful.
[00:36:23] It is gospel. And by the power of the Holy Spirit, you can live this way.
[00:36:29] I don't know if you guys remember this. This is a while ago, but back in 2006, there was a mentally deranged milkman who went into an amish schoolhouse with loaded weapon, and his plan was to assault the children there and then kill them.
[00:36:45] Police responded quickly, and when he realized he would be rushed, he began executing the girls in the classroom one by one. It's an absolutely horrific story. It's evil. Nothing good about it. It is the depths of human sinfulness.
[00:37:00] And yet, if you go back and read about it, the response of this amish community is pure Holy Spirit power.
[00:37:09] It's insane.
[00:37:11] They publicly, and by the way, continually forgave the shooter.
[00:37:17] The parents and grandparents of those murdered children attended his funeral. They arranged pastoral care for his widow, and they actually collected money for his children's college fund. It was a national story. Reporters were dumbfounded. How could you respond by this?
[00:37:36] One of the murdered girl's grandfathers told CNN reporters, Jesus told us to forgive, so we forgive.
[00:37:45] That was his response. Now, guys, you need to hear this.
[00:37:49] That's not somehow magically easy just because their faith required that of them. Didn't make that somehow supernaturally just effortless.
[00:37:59] No. The community wrestled with this tragedy and this horror. To this day, surviving children experience PTSD and trauma. Local congregations from other denominational convictions helped provide gospel centered counseling for the families, and many of them are still utilizing it as we come up on the 20th anniversary of the tragedy. And yet the entire community remains committed to their forgiveness and their reconciliation with the family of the shooter. Nothing about that is easy.
[00:38:33] Nothing about that is easy. Nothing but it is the way of Jesus, undeniably the way of the gospel, the way of the cross. Beloved peace is not found.
[00:38:49] It is made.
[00:38:51] It's made.
[00:38:53] And Christ invites us to join him in the work of making it. Chris, if you want to come back up, I'm going to invite us to take a few minutes to pray this morning.
[00:39:07] I don't have a cool thing with cards you can write on or anything like that. Today, I just want to ask you to meet with Jesus for a few minutes. If you can do that in your chair, that's awesome. If you want to get on your knees, if you need to find someone in the room to pray with you, if you need to find someone in the room and reconcile real quick, this is a great time to do that.
[00:39:25] But I want to encourage you right now, church, take a few minutes and connect with Christ.
[00:39:32] I want you to ask him to help you soberly look at your own heart.
[00:39:37] In the areas where you've held on to hurt and wounds. The areas where your natural sinful bent toward anger and vengeance and holding on and justice has actually counteracted the work of the gospel in your own life.
[00:39:53] I want you to ask Jesus to give you clarity, to consider what it might look like for you to be the one to absorb the wrong, to just say, Christ took the loss from me because of him. I can take a loss for you.
[00:40:09] Consider that. Talk to him about it. See? See what he says to you. In a few minutes, we'll stand up and we'll sing.
