Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Well, good morning, everyone.
[00:00:03] Donna, thanks so much for sharing your story with us.
[00:00:10] It's set up here.
[00:00:16] So we're in a week seven of our summer seeker series in the Book of Romans. As I said before, and each week we attempted to answer a question that we believe is relevant to all of us, especially those who may be seeking answers to life's most important questions. And as I said earlier this morning, I want to answer the question, how can I live at peace with those who hurt me? And as I was developing this series before we got started, I thought the answer to this morning's question was going to be forgiveness. And I'm thankful for Donna's testimony and her journey to forgive her mom.
[00:00:48] And if you're here this morning and struggling with the bitterness, anger, or resentment towards someone, my hope is that God will use her story to launch you on your own path of forgiveness. And that path is not for the sake of the one who has wounded you, but it's for your sake that you might walk in the freedom, joy, and peace that God has for you on the other side.
[00:01:08] That being said, I have a different answer from our text today for the question, how can I live at peace with those who hurt me? And my answer is simply, love the love of Christ.
[00:01:20] Before we jump into the remainder of chapter twelve this morning, I want to do a little review of Pastor Jesse's message last week, which was excellent. He answered the question, can God really use me to make a difference? And the resounding answer was, yes.
[00:01:35] Paul begins the chapter by telling his readers that in view of the gospel, since you have come to experience the love of God through his mercies and grace, then in light of such a great salvation, a salvation that's not earned, worked for, deserved, but given to you as God's precious gift, it's only reasonable that you choose to live your life as a living sacrifice, a life that's lived not in conformity to the world's values, priorities, and pursuits. A life not overwhelmed by the responsibilities, busyness, stress, and pressure to achieve the world's definition of success, but instead a life that is transformed, a life that is radically different as the Holy Spirit renews your mind and your heart by the values, principles, priorities, and kingdom pursuits given to you by the word of God.
[00:02:19] And Paul speaks of seven different spiritual gifts that are uniquely given by the Holy Spirit, given to every believer in Christ as a means to serve him and his church.
[00:02:29] These gifts, expressed by the Holy Spirit and by the power of the Holy Spirit, leads to a fulfilling life of significance and meaning as you live for something bigger than yourself, a thrill of making an eternal difference in the lives that you come in contact with.
[00:02:44] This sets us up for the remaining text in Romans chapter twelve, as Paul further explains what being a living sacrifice actually looks like in the life of the Christian.
[00:02:55] As we will see, it's a life that loves as Jesus did.
[00:03:00] So if you got your bibles, let's go ahead and turn to Romans chapter twelve, and we're going to read the remaining verses there, verses nine through 21. If you don't have a Bible, there should be some on the racks that are in the row in front of you.
[00:03:13] And if you don't have your own Bible, as we say each week, please feel free to take that home for yourself.
[00:03:20] Romans chapter twelve, starting in verse nine.
[00:03:24] Let love be without hypocrisy. Detest evil. Cling to what is good. Love one another deeply as brothers and sisters. Outdo one another in showing honor.
[00:03:34] Do not lack diligence and zeal. Be fervent in the spirit. Serve the Lord. Rejoice in hope. Be patient in affliction. Be persistent in prayer. Share with the saints in their needs. Pursue hospitality.
[00:03:46] Bless those who persecute you. Bless and do not curse.
[00:03:50] Rejoice with those who rejoice. Weep with those who reap.
[00:03:54] Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud instead, associate with the humble. Do not be wise in your own estimation.
[00:04:02] Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Give careful thought to do what is honorable in everyone's eyes if possible, as far as it depends on you. Live at peace with everyone, friends. Do not avenge yourselves. Instead, leave room for God's wrath, because it is written, vengeance belongs to me. I will repay, says the Lord. But if your enemy is hungry, feed him. If he is thirsty, give him something to drink, for in so doing, you will be heaping fiery coals on his head. Do not be conquered by evil, but conquer evil with good. Let's go ahead and pray.
[00:04:38] Heavenly Father, it's your standard of love that we seek to emulate this morning, and we pray that through your word and as we dive more in and kind of unpack this text, Lord, that you would speak to us in our minds and in our hearts on what it looks like for the Christian to truly love others. This is something, Lord, that we know is not naturally. It doesn't come naturally from us, but it's supernaturally through the power of your holy spirit that we can love, like your son Jesus.
[00:05:06] So this morning we pray, Lord, that you would reach into our hearts and reach into our lives to help us love as your son did as he walked on earth, and as you continue to love us each and every day of our lives. And we ask that in Jesus name. Amen.
[00:05:24] So it's no surprise to me that the apostle Paul shifts from his focus on spiritual gifts to the topic of love. In each of his main teachings on spiritual gifts, he switches the focus of gifts to the importance of love.
[00:05:38] In his first letter to the Corinthians, Paul addresses spiritual gifts in both chapter twelve and 14. But sandwiched right in between those two chapters is his famous chapter on love.
[00:05:49] And in my bible that is subtitled Love the superior way.
[00:05:54] And he writes, if I am blessed with extraordinary gifts from God, have all the understanding a man can have as to the mysteries of goddess, and have faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing.
[00:06:05] Even if I gave away all that I owned and gave my body as a sacrifice to the Lord each day. But do not have love, I gain nothing.
[00:06:13] I'm reminded of the words of Jesus when asked the question, Rabbi, tell us, what is the greatest commandment?
[00:06:20] And in Matthew 22 37 40, he says, love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the greatest and most important command. The second is, like it, love your neighbor as yourself. All the law and the prophets are summed up by these two commands. It's easy for us to see that according to the word of God, love's a big deal.
[00:06:42] In essence, Jesus response tells us that it is the deal that the essence of the christian life is summed up by one word, love.
[00:06:51] The difficulty for us all is understanding what genuine love is.
[00:06:57] I'd freely tell you that I love a lot of things.
[00:07:00] I love my wife. I love my kids.
[00:07:04] And how can you not love these guys?
[00:07:09] Isn't that amazing? My grandkids.
[00:07:12] And I also can say that I actually love my little dog, Rosie.
[00:07:18] How can you not love, you know, so cute.
[00:07:22] But, you know, I also love hanging out with my friends.
[00:07:26] I love playing pickleball. I love game nights with my wife Lisa, even more when I win.
[00:07:34] She'd tell you that I'm really not a very competitive person.
[00:07:38] I love the Kansas City Chiefs in the football season. I love when I'm finished working out. And you notice that I didn't say I love working out.
[00:07:46] I love to read books with the goal of learning something new. I love cookies and ice cold milk. I love Pearoni's pizza, epic movies, beautiful sunsets that overlook the ocean. I love the fall colors on display in the smoky mountains.
[00:08:03] But because we use that word so many times, it can kind of confuse us and maybe water down the kind of love that Paul's speaking about here to the church in Rome.
[00:08:13] So before we jump back into our text, let me share with you what I believe is our goal this morning.
[00:08:18] Our goal is to better understand what christlike love is, what it's supposed to look like in the life of the Christian, and what obstacles might be in the way of you loving others as Jesus did.
[00:08:30] So Paul begins his writing in verses nine and ten. And he said, let love be without hypocrisy, detest evil, cling to what is good. Love one another deeply as brothers and sisters take the lead in honoring one another. And the word that he uses for love there is the word agape. And that word expresses God's unconditional love for us.
[00:08:51] Paul describes this kind of love as a love without hypocrisy. And we hear probably the greatest complaint of non christians is that the church is full of hypocrites. And my response is, that's not true. We're not full yet.
[00:09:04] We have plenty of open seats to add a few more.
[00:09:09] You know, we need to be honest with each other.
[00:09:12] None of us has mastered this thing called love, and each of us, at different times, are hypocrites. But the question is to what degree.
[00:09:21] That word, hypocrite that Paul is used in, is a greek word that was used in his day for a play actor. It literally means without a mask.
[00:09:30] In ancient greek theater, all the actors were males, and each actor played multiple parts. In a player production, one actor might play the part of a woman and a child and two or three men in the same play.
[00:09:42] This was done through wearing different masks that had various expressions on those masks where expressed the feeling depending upon the scene.
[00:09:52] Paul is saying, don't be a person who wears a mask, pretending to be one thing when face to face with people, but another when not in their presence.
[00:10:00] Living in genuine community with each other means we risk being our true selves, to be fully known, to be vulnerable, to share our weakness and shortcomings, and even our struggles with sin, so that others can genuinely love you exactly as you are, which actually results in freedom, growth, and spiritual vitality.
[00:10:20] Paul proceeds in his letter to describe the characteristics of love that has no hypocrisy. He says, those with genuine love detest evil and cling to what is good.
[00:10:30] And another word for the test here is the word abhorr.
[00:10:35] And if you ever have gone out for a couple of weeks, maybe on vacation, and without knowing it, the electricity goes off while you're away. And the first time you open up that refrigerator and you get a whiff of the spoiled perishables, you're so overwhelmed by the putrid smell that you want to throw up.
[00:10:54] This is the force behind what Paul is saying on how much we are to hate what is evil.
[00:11:00] And you know, when I thought of hating evil, my thoughts drifted to my kids and my grandkids, because my heart actually aches for the next generation.
[00:11:09] Our kids and our grandkids.
[00:11:11] I mean, by the grace of God. I may have 15 or more years on this planet, but I shudder to think of what this world's going to look like in 30, 40, 50 years if the Lord delays his return today. The next generation, they're facing things that we never had to deal with, the things that they're exposed to and have free access to. Boggles my mind.
[00:11:34] Relative truth has filled our world with temptation and confusion over what is right and wrong. And what was once believed to be good is now called bad. And what was once considered bad is called good.
[00:11:46] It was difficult enough for me as a teen to navigate the minefield of temptations, and growing up, I stepped on several landmines and received painful shrapnel as a consequence.
[00:11:58] Today's world feels like there are countless new mines hidden in the fields in which we're living and walking. And how do we help this next generation navigate through it all?
[00:12:10] It's my heartfelt belief that all of us need to come alongside our young parents, kids and teens to help them learn according to the word of God, what is right and wrong, why it's right and wrong, the benefits of choosing right and the unwanted consequences of choosing wrong.
[00:12:27] And you, part of IFC, could actually respond to that urgent need by choosing to be part of the Treehouse and student ministry team.
[00:12:39] But then you have to choose to live it yourself, to model it, to be shining examples for these kids to follow and parents, that goes for you even more.
[00:12:49] Parent. If your life sends a message to your kids that reading the Bible and being in prayer and being consistent church attender and attending gcs, or refusing to love and serve others through the use of your gifts and you're telling them it's not important, it's not a priority to you, what chance do you believe your children are going to have in being passionate about Jesus and giving their lives to him if it's not important to you, it's likely not going to be important to them.
[00:13:18] We must help our kids to understand that the only true way of knowing what is good and what is evil is not in the culture or in social media, but it's through God's word.
[00:13:29] Second Timothy 316 17. Paul writes to Timothy, he says, all scripture is inspired by God and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting, and training in righteousness, that the man or woman of God will be thoroughly prepared for everything life throws at them.
[00:13:46] So let's dissect that a little bit. First of all, that word teaching, it's you're teaching someone on what God's path is and how they can walk through the minefield.
[00:13:56] To rebuke is how telling them how they've strayed from God's path and are actually getting nearer to destructive consequences.
[00:14:03] Correcting means to tell them how to stop straying off of God's path and to get back on it. And training means how they can stay on God's path.
[00:14:13] God is the creator.
[00:14:15] As human beings, we are his invention.
[00:14:18] And since he made us uniquely in love, he does want the very best for us. So he establishes boundaries that can be found in the Bible. On how to avoid those hidden minds as you navigate through a fallen, sinful, broken world.
[00:14:33] I believe with all my heart that God's truth is absolute. And our kids need to know that.
[00:14:41] A simple definition for absolute truth is what is true for all people in all places, at all times. You see, truth is not determined by the ever changing whims of the culture.
[00:14:51] Truth is not determined by an individual's feelings.
[00:14:55] Truth emanates from the unchanging character of God. You see, God does not need to learn or grow or evolve his understanding. He is absolutely, from the beginning of time, complete and whole in his wisdom, knowledge and understanding. And he always has been and always will.
[00:15:12] If God does not change and truth comes from God, then truth does not change because truth is a reflection of his unchanging nature.
[00:15:20] Jesus himself says, I am the way. I am the truth. I am the life. So if you want to know what truth is, maybe take a closer look at him.
[00:15:33] One more point concerning truth, and this concerns those who currently reject God and reject his word and accept relative truth as the guide for their lives.
[00:15:44] Christians, we have to embrace God's calling and commission to love the sinner and speak the truth in love to them.
[00:15:51] I say this over and over, and I'll say it again, they're not the enemy.
[00:15:56] Jesus never avoided sinners. He engaged them. And that's why the religious, self righteous and the uptight called him a friend of sinners.
[00:16:04] That's why he told the Pharisees, who judged him for having a dinner at a despised tax collector's home with other tax collectors and maybe a few prostitutes thrown in. He says, guys, I didn't come for the healthy. I came for the sick.
[00:16:17] I'm here not to call the sinner. I'm here to call the sinner, not the righteous.
[00:16:23] Our commission is to love people outside of the church who embrace much of the evil within our culture, who are deceived in calling good evil and evil good, and not by cowering in fear of their potential ridicule, rejection or reprisal, nor by being angry, argumentative, or condemning or seeking to put them in their place with what you see so often on social media as a win lose proposition, where christians are just trying to win the argument rather than to love those who are apart from God. Well, we're to love them right where they're at, not affirming their sinful choices, but affirming them as people made in the image of God.
[00:17:05] We need to show them that we believe that they have intrinsic value and worth regardless of what they do. Show them that we care and are concerned enough about them and their choices that are leading them on path of destruction away from God to speak the truth to them as we love them and bless them and pray for them and serve them. This is how Jesus loved others, and this is how we're called to love them as well.
[00:17:27] Let's move on. In verses ten and eleven, Paul says, love one another deeply as brothers and sisters. Take the lead in honoring one another. Do not lack diligence and zeal. Be fervent in the spirit. Serve the Lord.
[00:17:44] And I like how the Niv words it says, be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves.
[00:17:52] And the relationships that Paul has in view here are relationships within the church.
[00:17:57] Let's look more closely at three important words to understand from this verse, which I hope will give us a clear picture of what love looks like amongst us.
[00:18:08] The first word is love. This is a different word that he uses for love here. It's the greek word philos, where we get the word Philadelphia, which means the city of brotherly love.
[00:18:18] The next two words he uses give us a deeper understanding of what brotherly love looks like, because he says, brotherly love, you're devoted to one another, and that simply is a focused attention on the ultimate well being of other people.
[00:18:32] And then he says, we are to honor one another above ourselves, and that simply is to bestow a sense of value, quality, or importance on other people, and obviously to honor and show devotion to another.
[00:18:48] It's not only through your words, but it's through your actions.
[00:18:53] We live in such an impersonal age, and due to technology, we have the ability to connect with almost anyone in the world.
[00:19:01] Through social media and texting, we can feel like we're connecting with people without any inconvenience, discomfort, or disruption to our schedules or plans.
[00:19:09] But in many ways, what technology has created is the loneliest and most relationally disconnected generation this world has ever seen.
[00:19:18] Sociologists and psychologists indicate that there is an epidemic of loneliness and social anxiety in the american culture.
[00:19:26] People were made for deep relationship connection and without realizing it, were longing for it because it's absent in our lives.
[00:19:38] Increasingly, christians fall prey to the very idea that I can be a solid Christian and rarely attend church. The belief that honoring and devoted relationships within the church really aren't necessary for me and community life with brothers and sisters is not really needed for me to continue to grow and flourish as a Christian.
[00:19:56] Just in verse ten of our text, we see Paul use the phrase one another three times. He says, love one another deeply as brothers and sisters. Be devoted to one another, honor one another above yourselves. Did you know there are over 51 anothers found in the New Testament, all used to describe what a life of love amongst christians looks like.
[00:20:17] Let me just share a few with you.
[00:20:21] Build up one another, care for one another, bear the burdens of one another, forgive one another, comfort one another, encourage one another, confess your sins to one another, serve one another, teach one another, be kind and compassionate to one another.
[00:20:40] You see, living out the one anothers was never intended to be accomplished through text messages, Facebook postings, emails, or by watching Sunday services on livestream.
[00:20:52] The spiritual temperature and spiritual vitality always decreases for the Christian who chooses to divorce themselves from christian community.
[00:21:00] Are you currently struggling in your faith or maybe struggling with sin?
[00:21:06] Have you treated living in community with indifference?
[00:21:10] Could it be that those two are actually connected in your life?
[00:21:16] You see, there's one thing that serves as a wet blanket to the potential fire of spiritual passion in your heart, and it's sin.
[00:21:25] And there are sins of omission where you know God's will for your life and you know what he's asking you to do and you just say, no, no, Lord, I just really don't feel like doing that.
[00:21:37] In Paul's letter to Thessalonians, he exhorts them do not put out or quench the spirit's fire. And that's what you're doing when over and over, you know, what God's telling you to do, and you just say no.
[00:21:50] But then there's a sin of commission. And this is about sinful choices, actions of behavior that you know is wrong, but you just refuse to give that sin up.
[00:21:59] In Paul's letter to the Ephesians, he says, do not grieve the spirit who is in you.
[00:22:04] You see, this whole love thing we're talking about this morning, it just doesn't come naturally.
[00:22:11] This is something that is supernatural and only possible by the power of the Holy Spirit within you. The spirit that's been given to you the moment that you trusted Christ as your savior. And if you're quenching or grieving the spirit, then spiritual zeal and fervor and the passion fire of the Holy Spirit, it's just not possible for you. Have you been wondering why you're dry? Why you're just indifferent about spiritual things? Why you really don't care about meeting the Lord through the word of prayer? You're not really concerned about coming to church. It's because your heart, there's just a wet blanket over it.
[00:22:41] Because you're either grieving the spirit or you're quenching the spirit in your life.
[00:22:47] It's impossible to find spiritual zeal forever and passion alone. It's impossible if you have not devoted yourself to living in community with your brothers and sisters in Christ.
[00:22:58] Let's move on. In verse twelve, Paul writes, rejoice in hope, be patient in affliction, be persistent in prayer. And so what is hope? Kind of searched out a definition for hope online, and I found this one. Hope is an optimistic state of mind that is based on an expectation of positive outcomes with respect to events and circumstances in one life's or the world at large.
[00:23:23] There's nothing wrong with hoping for a sick person to get wealth, or for a job promotion, or for your retirement investments to prosper, or having to hope to get married or have children one day.
[00:23:36] The problem comes when a person places unrealistic expectations on certain outcomes, or when they place all their hope in temporal things that are bound to fail.
[00:23:48] Proverbs speaks to what happens when you or I place all our hopes in a person, place or thing in this life. You see, because we're all imperfect and people fail us, and the economy and the stock market tanks and you lose that job, or you don't get that promotion, or your health fails, or that loved one dies.
[00:24:11] And proverbs 1312 says, hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life.
[00:24:18] When the anchor of our hope is placed in temporal things, it's almost always going to lead to a broken and disillusioned heart.
[00:24:26] So how can we rejoice in hope? As Paul is saying here, it's when the foundation of our christian hope is on eternal things that never fail, like God's love for us, our secure salvation in Christ, the promises of God's presence in our life, the promise that he's prepared a place for us in heaven, that our eternal inheritance and rewards are kept secure by him for us.
[00:24:55] Hebrews 617 and 19 says, because God wanted to make the unchanging nature of his purpose very clear to the heirs of what was promised, the heirs being you and me.
[00:25:06] He confirmed it with an oath.
[00:25:08] God did this so that by two unchangeable things, which is his promise and his oath, in which it's impossible for God to lie.
[00:25:17] We who have fled to take hold of the hope offered us may be greatly encouraged. We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure.
[00:25:28] It's our security in the eternal promises of God that sets our heart free to risk as we seek deeply love others.
[00:25:39] Paul goes on and exhorts us to be patient in affliction and you know, I don't know about you, but I have found that waiting for God to move or to act or to answer, living in extended periods in the now and not yet, when his answer is neither yes or no, but wait, it's one of the toughest things in the christian life to do.
[00:26:03] It's our secure hope, rightly placed on the promises of God, that actually gives us the strength and courage to wait for God to work while in the midst of suffering.
[00:26:12] Those of you in our church family know the story of David and Sally amling. Jesse mentioned an update this morning and since January, due to a bad reaction to a medication led to David, multiple falls, which led to brain bleeds and surgeries and lengthy stays in the hospital, where David for weeks is laid in bed day after day of sleep, unable to wake up.
[00:26:35] His wife Sally waits day after day, hoping this will be the day, and she longs to see David wake up and show signs that he's on the path of recovery.
[00:26:46] I sat with Sally a bunch of times at the hospital talking with her, and she told me that all of her christian life she has found it hard to wait for God to work or to answer her prayers.
[00:26:57] She knows and embraces what she believes God wants to do in her life through this trial, which is to grow in her ability to trust him that he is good and his will shall be accomplished whatever the outcome.
[00:27:10] And in the midst of her sharing this with me, she reminds herself of the unshakable promises of God. And regardless of what happened, she and her husband David are forever secure in his love.
[00:27:21] You should go spend some time with her.
[00:27:23] Sally's trust in God in the midst of this very challenging trial, it'll amaze you.
[00:27:30] Ask her about what she has anchored her hope in.
[00:27:36] And then finally, in this verse, Paul says, be persistent in prayer.
[00:27:43] And the depth of our prayer life really is a barometer for the degree in which we trust God.
[00:27:49] I was speaking to a young man this weekend who called about some worries and real life struggles and challenges he was facing. And as we spoke, he shared with me that he realized that rather than bringing these things to God, instead he set out to call me and a couple other guys to find support and encouragement. And we all at times do that, don't we?
[00:28:09] I think we all forget at times that because of Christ, we have free access to the very ear of Almighty God, who loves us and desires to act on our behalf, the one who can interject himself into our affairs with his love, care, wisdom, power and strength. I mean, isn't this a wow?
[00:28:28] I mean, wow. Are you kidding me? Really?
[00:28:32] We have the ear and the attention of the almighty God, the creator of all things, the one who is sovereign over all the affairs of men.
[00:28:42] And we run to a friend first, and we all do it.
[00:28:49] Wow.
[00:28:54] And I think when we do get it, we do find ourselves constantly running to him, telling him all about it, pouring our hearts out to him. We keep seeking, we keep asking, we keep knocking on the door of the only one who is sovereign over the affairs of men. Paul says, keep praying. Never give up.
[00:29:17] You know, and just kind of a side note in prayer, you know, Donna's testimony was about trying to love a difficult person, and we all know those challenges in our life.
[00:29:28] But the kind of power that prayer also has is that if you have trouble loving a difficult person, pray daily for them and watch your heart begin to soften.
[00:29:40] Let's move on to verses 13 and 16.
[00:29:45] Share with the saints and their needs. Pursue hospitality. Bless those who persecute you. Bless and do not curse. Rejoice with those who rejoice. Weep with those who weep. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud. Instead, associate with the humble which is in another version, people of low position do not be wise in your own estimation. And so, you know, I was looking at this, I was kind of meditating on this passage, and I kind of saw it in a different way, because to me, it seems like Paul seems to be hitting on almost every potential difficult possibility in relationship that you may experience as a Christian.
[00:30:18] He mentions needy Christians, strangers in regard to hospitality, those who persecute, those who succeed when you don't, those who are suffering, those who are divisive, the poor and less fortunate.
[00:30:34] The reason why the majority of people listed there are difficult is not because they're rude and obnoxious, but because each of those will demand more of you.
[00:30:44] They'll stretch you out of your comfort zone. They'll require greater sacrificial love and sacrifice.
[00:30:53] So how do I know if I'm good at loving the difficult people God brings into my life?
[00:30:58] Well, if they're needy Christians, you share your time and your resources, and you serve them and meet their need. Or you ignore their needs because you're too busy with your stuff.
[00:31:09] Concerning showing hospitality to strangers, which was the focus in Paul's days, it means the foreigner and the alien. So you either invite strangers to be guests in your home, or you just kind of invite your closest friends to be in your home.
[00:31:24] How about people who are persecuting you? Well, you either find ways to bless them, or you rail at them and shake your fist in anger at them and curse them. And probably some of you experienced that watching tv. When somebody on there thinks differently than you or, or has done something differently than you, and you just kind of rail your fist in anger.
[00:31:42] How about people who succeed or advance when you don't? You know, I think we tend to think that loving people who are suffering and mourning is more difficult. But I actually think rejoicing with those who have success when maybe you don't, can be even more difficult.
[00:32:01] We know we love. If we could celebrate the success, promotions, and advancements of others, or we feel envy, jealousy, and spite.
[00:32:10] There's discomfort in entering into the pain and suffering of others. To weep with those who weep. To really love someone who is suffering is to put yourself out and be present with them.
[00:32:20] To love someone who is suffering is to interrupt your schedule and plans to be with them. To love someone is suffering to discover their needs and to seek to meet them.
[00:32:29] As IfC's pastor of care. Those in our church who have suffered have told me they greatly appreciate knowing people are praying for them and sending them words of encouragement through text. But what they need more, more than anything else, is your presence.
[00:32:44] If you remember the story of job, a man who lost everything, his family, his home, his possessions, his ability to earn a living and his health, almost all at the same time.
[00:32:55] And you know his three closest friends who get a really bad rap, which they deserve because eventually they sit there and judge him and blame him for his calamities. But you know what they did when they first came, the three friends, is they just sat with him. They were present with him, they listened to his pain.
[00:33:16] They were there for him.
[00:33:19] And that's what suffering and needy people need more than anything from you. They don't even need spiritual cliches and texts, verses of encouragement. Hey, God will work everything for good.
[00:33:33] They just need you to be there.
[00:33:35] They need you to listen, they need to put your arm around them. They need you to hear your words of prayer as you there. They need maybe some food to be brought to the hospital or a meal brought to their home. Or, you know, those are the kind of things that they need the most.
[00:33:52] Those three friends. They put aside their life schedule and their plan and their responsibilities just to be with job, to be present with him, to be God's comfort in their friend's time of distress. Genuine love is expressed when you lay your life down for a friend.
[00:34:09] So what counsel does Paul have for us?
[00:34:12] When you choose to love difficult people, you engage them. You love them where they're at. You see them as God does, as worthy to lay your life down, to sacrifice, to go out of your way for them in the moment you put your plans aside to be with them.
[00:34:30] Well, let's finish up, as Sam would say. Let's land this plane.
[00:34:35] As a matter of fact, Sam will be back next week.
[00:34:38] Let's finish up. In verses 17 through 21, Paul writes, do not repay anyone evil for evil. Give careful thought to what is honorable in everyone's eyes if possible. As far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone, friends, do not avenge yourselves. Instead, leave room for God's wrath, because it is written, vengeance belongs to me. I will repay, says the Lord. But if your enemy is hungry, feed him. If he is thirsty, give him something to drink, for in so doing, you will be heaping fiery coals on his head. Do not be conquered by evil, but conquer evil with good.
[00:35:16] I know you are probably hoping that Paul was telling us here, don't worry.
[00:35:20] Your enemy, that person who hurt you, rest easy. He or she will get there, come up, and I'm going to exact the revenge God says that you desire to have.
[00:35:31] And I know that sometimes we were hoping for that, aren't we?
[00:35:36] But God's message, actually, as follower of Christ, you aren't God. I am.
[00:35:41] I alone have the power, position, and wisdom to judge rightly.
[00:35:45] In the end, every person will be judged. The believer who is secure in their salvation will be judged according to their works, resulting in rewards.
[00:35:53] Those who reject me, whose destiny is also secure, will be judged according to their works, unto their eternal punishment.
[00:36:00] But what he wants us to get here is, I want you to have my heart. I want your heart to be like mine.
[00:36:08] And my depth of my heart for people is to save, redeem, forgive, reconcile, not to judge, to enter into a relationship with that person for the sake of their eternal salvation.
[00:36:19] And my desire is to use you to do it by praying for them and blessing them and giving to them and serving them and showing acts of kindness to them.
[00:36:28] Okay, so then what does this thing, tossing fiery coals on their head mean? And once again, I know that we can envision, you know, kind of taking those red charcoal briquettes out of the barbecue pit and tossing them on our enemy's head. I mean, that would be justice, wouldn't it?
[00:36:46] Wrong.
[00:36:48] What God is trying to get us to understand is that these fiery coals represent repentance. And it's your acts of love and kindness and blessing that just may lead the person who has hurt you or continues to hurt you to salvation.
[00:37:05] You know, in recent decades in Christianity, there's developed a new council for the Christian who has been hurt I. Which is to set boundaries with people who hurt or offend you. And those people are called toxic people, and that we're just to rid toxic people from our lives.
[00:37:22] And there are certainly people who must flee from these kind of people in their lives. But those kind of people, I'm going to say, are abusive. People who are physically abusive or sexually abusive or who threaten verbally by fits of anger and rage. You're in a relationship with like this, then immediately seek help from your pastors or counselors or law enforcement.
[00:37:44] But you see, most of the people that we write off and say, I'm done with you. I don't need this in my life. I don't need you. And we separate from us. These so called by healthy boundaries, they're really not abusive at all.
[00:37:56] They're just. They're obnoxious and rude and unkind.
[00:38:01] And if the Christian cut off every person who was like that in their life, it would be impossible for Paul's instructions in the final verses of this chapter to ever be lived out.
[00:38:12] You see, he says, as far as it depends on you live at peace with everyone.
[00:38:16] And I'm sorry to say, this does not mean setting an impenetrable boundary around your life and disassociating with every rude, unkind, obnoxious person.
[00:38:25] What it means is you heaping burning coals on their head through your prayers. You're choosing to engage them, showing extraordinary acts of kindness to the point that this person is so blown away that you do these kind things and treat them so wonderfully while they treat you so badly that they repented and are drawn to Jesus.
[00:38:43] This, my friends, is the power of genuine christlike love at work through you.
[00:38:53] I told you in the beginning of the message that we had a goal to better understand what christlike love is, what it's supposed to look like in the life of the Christian, and what obstacles might be in the way of you loving others as Jesus did.
[00:39:08] Have you come to a deeper understanding, maybe, of what christlike love looks like in the life of the Christian?
[00:39:14] How are you measuring up every one of us, if honest, would answer God, I am desperate for your help and changing me to become a person who loves others like you do.
[00:39:29] Have you identified any obstacles that are in your way?
[00:39:32] Because if you have, this is where you need to start, you see, because understanding is the first step to the key to change.
[00:39:41] These obstacles are what is putting a wet blanket over the potential fire of passion, zeal and fervor in your heart. Forgotten others.
[00:39:48] So cry out to God for his help in tearing down those obstacles that are preventing you from loving others. As Jesus loves, and as you grow in Christ like love, this is how you will live at peace with people who have hurt.
